I Saved The Staples

When Vince and I went to Ohio for our film MFA interview Max was the bookstore dog at the Galaxy Bookshop in Hardwick

My staples are out which is a huge mental move forward for me.  The only way it could have been worse is if I'd had more knees.  In twenty years when I have to do this again :(, I want to be put asleep.

I'm thinking that the toughest component of my healing process, even with all the physical discomfort, will be the patience part of it.  I've spent most of the last couple days fretting, that after all my stretching, my flexion was getting worse and when we measured it with hand-held calipers rather than my head-held calipers, it had actually gotten better.*  Not as much better as I (the expert and knee owner) thought it should be, but better which is way better than worse. (that's a lot of 'betters'). 

I will admit that I am excited to 'get this show on the road', but just the same I am being very careful and thoughtful with my physical therapy.  Like today. My physical therapist tried to keep a non-judgmental look on her face as I described my plan for using the rowing machine as therapy.  I told her the hardest part about it is that it sits so close to the floor so I was thinking I could have Vin hang a trapeze contraption from the ceiling that I could use to lower myself on the the machine.  All she said was, "why don't we wait until next week," and I was OK with that.

It took me most of the day, but Sunday I figured how to link my blogs together with html code.  I am so much smarter than I thought I was.  It's fun seeing (stats page) that people actually use the new feature to go from one blog to the other like it's a real thing that a person who does that kind of thing did, and not me.

MY DAD

It looked like flying from Mesa, Arizona to Sioux Falls, South Dakota on April 18 was going to be cheap, so one weekday afternoon when all the Minnesota snowbirds were over at Janis J's for no special reason, Dad had her get him a ticket.  She has a printer so she could print it out while he was there too which made it even more of a great idea.  (when something seems to good to be true, it usually is)

Good Life.  Sustainable living.

Water aerobics on St Patrick's Day at Good Life.

A few days later he got to thinking that hanging around 'Good Life' resort for two weeks by himself (since people are starting to leave now), when it might even be warmer in Minnesota, may not have been worth saving the fifty dollars and leaving sooner would be worth any amount of money.  I'd bought my brother Dale a ticket to Mesa last Christmas time.  He didn't go so I had a voucher sitting in a file with all of my other unused airline vouchers.

Aunt Marlene had Janis email Dad, me and her a copy of Dad's itinerary so we would all be on the 'front' page.  I called the airline (Allegiant) but since Janis J. had made the reservation, she would have to make the changes (that's what she gets for being nice).  She gave me a list of the several passwords she may have used so I could get into her account.  One worked and up came a long manifest of tickets purchased and printed that afternoon at her house.

I made Dad's new reservation but I couldn't use the voucher because my step-sister Janet had put Dale's Christmas time ticket on her credit card so the voucher was in her name.  To use it Janet would have had to call Allegiant, with an average wait time 28 minutes, and OK the voucher transfer, then Dad would have had to call Allegiant, with an average wait time 28 minutes, and make the reservation over the phone.  TOO MANY COOKS.  We used a credit card so Dad's cheap ticket ended up being 91 dollars more than the one Janis got for him and I still have a voucher in Janet's name.

My dad just got his girlfriend her birthday present.  I can tell you what it was because, even though her birthday isn't for a few weeks, he couldn't wait to give it to her.  A card shuffler.



*In case you are interested......I have another blog.  I call it my knee blog.  It's like a journal and is only about my knees.  I update it almost everyday whether something is newsworthy or not.  I started it because, at the beginning of this whole process, I really wanted to see how my progress, pain and decision making compared with others and I couldn't find a site that had the information I wanted.  It's at the top right of 'Kathy's Big Adventure' under MY BLOG LIST. Anyway....go ahead, stalk me.

Being Out Of Joint

If everyone says I'm doing so well, how come I feel so miserable?

Pathetic looking.

I can't believe this is me.  Looks like a football.

I'm not nauseous anymore but I still have a hard time eating enough.  I made a chart and started counting calories.  That way if I need another 200 calories at the end of the day, I just grab a handful of nuts or eat a spoonful of wheatgerm.*  I've managed to turn eating into work. 

I can walk with crutches.  In fact I can walk with one crutch.  Physical therapy came to the house.  She said I was doing great (of course).  She comes again tomorrow.  I'm going to ask her if she hears my new knee clicking too.  I can lift my left leg off the ground but not the right one because the muscle that used to be there disappeared completely which makes me even more amazed and thankful I was able to limp through the ski season.

The visiting nurse people sent someone too.  He seemed present and experienced albeit a bit sloppy.  Tell me if you think this is sloppy.  He put on some rubber gloves, rooted around in three dirty bags and and then took the dressing off my knee.  The dressing that no one is supposed to touch because there is such an incredibly high risk of infection.  I told him I was surprised he put on the gloves and then rooted around in the dirty bags and he said that the gloves were to protect him not me.  (maybe that's right?)  Anyway, once he was all protected (from the insides of his bags?) he started putting piles of gauze along the wound (he was out of the real dressing) and had me hold them, with my dirty hands, while he taped them with little pieces of tape...conserving because he didn't have more tape either.  Then there is this sticker.  "I'm going to leave you this, make sure you call if you need anything at all."  A known quantity, he's coming again tomorrow.

One of the things that made me think the visiting nurse was sloppy.

Today and yesterday I moved a chair outside (no small feat) so I could sit and read.  I wasn't going to let a sunny, 75 degree Northern Vermont day in March go by without me.  I didn't actually read that much but just sitting was nice.  Max joined me.  He didn't read either.  It was hot so I pulled my sweat pants down around my ankles (but not all the way off since getting them back on would be even harder than getting the chair outside) to bring my ace-bandaged legs one layer closer to fresh air.

Tomorrow Vince is going to pick up a rocking chair for me...so there's that.  Then there's the sitting outside reading in the sun.  Sounds like a post from someone in a nursing home.

NYC Trip

Sarah eating oatmeal at Bread and Butter

Only Linda would wear a faux fur skirt.

My Tyler, Minnesota High School girlfriends** (class of 74) met me in NYC a few weekends ago.  It could have been really cold but it wasn't.  My knee could have kept me in the hotel room but it didn't.  And 'Jersey Boys' may not have been as good as everyone said but it was even better.

When we all get together it really doesn't matter where we are or what we do, which is good because even though my knee ended up OK, it may not have and I know they wouldn't have minded spending the weekend in the hotel room which was good but not as good as it looked online.

So.  Even though it didn't matter what we did, we were glad we got to see Mamma Mia (closure to our Greece trip), Jersey Boys, the High Line, and a bunch of other things.

I probably set the world record for overland crutch travel from 27th to Columbus Circle/Central Park and back.

*theoretically that is...right now I don't have any nuts or wheat germ.

**now from Idaho and Oregon (i.e. long flight)

Day Zer000

I was able to ski for an hour with Vince before we went to the hospital.  It was so fun, fast and mostly painless really.  It's pretty much the end of the season so my timing, as it happened, was really good.  The anxiety of the drive to the hospital wasn't what I expected.  I thought Vin would have to knock me out but he didn't.

The OR nurse was an ignorant dink.  So many insinuating questions that weren't necessary.  She argued with me when I told her I couldn't have a glucose IV suggesting that me thinking I needed a saline IV was an affectation that was in my head.  It was a conversation I didn't need right then.  I finally told her that I didn't care if she believed me or not and she got much nicer but not until I started crying.  I just couldn't hold back the tears when I was giving her my phone number.

Anyway, went into the OR thinking I was getting partial knee replacements and came out with total knee replacements.  Guess I wasn't all that surprised.  The surgeon said they were both so bad that after scoping them the decision was a no brainer.  Said he really didn't like doing totals on someone 'so young'. At least I'm in the young category of some group.

Vin was there all day or said he was.

I don't remember a whole lot about recovery except I felt like crap and thought the nursing staff I had, must have graduated at the bottom of their classes.  I stood, vomited and took a few steps with my walker.  Got a bunch of calls and emails.  I couldn't eat.  The discomfort from the surgery/anesthesia seemed a lot worse than the discomfort from my knees.  Cathaters, commodes, hospital gowns that open in the back are all pretty undignified.  Normal post-op from what I hear.

My legs are wrapped and I never want to see my incisions.

I'm packed...with loose clothing and irrational fear.

Just before I took my knees for their last ski.  The guest bed will go here and it will be my convalescing space.  Very cheerful.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" asked my friend John today on the phone today in reference to my surgery and rehab.  I thought for a second then said, "I have a Netflix at the Post Office and I don't have a car.  Can you pick it up for me?"  He left work and rode his bike to the PO.  Knee surgery = Power.

Tomorrow. By early afternoon I'll be sitting in a hospital bed with two new knees which should make me feel good except I will have had to be inside all day and it's supposed to be 54 degrees and sunny.  Please make the forecast be wrong.

My new community is a very welcoming group of local 70+ knee replacement survivors.  They're advising and outfitting me for the procedure.  So far they've passed along, two CryoCuffs, a walker, a commode (yes, I'll be using a used commode), gel packs, phone numbers and good wishes.

Elinor was walking down the road next to the ski trail today. (Elinor has two new knees and is part of my new community) "How is it today?" she hollered when I skied by.  Well of course I thought she was asking about my knee and I went into this long boring scenario, comparing it to yesterday, how I think the boot/ski combination I have on is good...important stuff.   Then she said "I meant how is the skiing?" 

Today.  I skied for the last time with my old knees which was oddly sad.  OK, now I can say it.  I hated skiing so carefully (i.e. slowly) this winter.  I tried convincing myself that it was good enough just being out in the fresh air but was never totally committed to that theory as much as I'd wanted to be.  Next winter I'll be able to ski with my arms AND legs.  YIPPEE.

Coming soon...

NYC hotel

•NYC trip.  With my high school girlfriends.

In case you've ever wondered what it looked like behind the doors of one of those airport clubs

•Tallahassee trip.  Florida State University MFA film program interview.
•Athens, Ohio trip.  Ohio University MFA film program interview.

Me And The Knee(s)

Vince put little piles of hay around the yard for Max and he'd go from one to the other all day

Diane at the post office said it was a lovely DAY and I said "only 11 more DAYs until I get my new knees".  I can't even have a conversation these days without relating it to my knees!*

My big day went from being March 12 to March 15 when I told my surgeon I'd decided I wanted to do both knees at the same time.  He caught himself midway through a sigh of exasperation and rolled with it.  It would be like someone who was getting 50 cycling jerseys, during our VOmax days, calling to say they wanted to double their order.  He should be psyched. 

The thought of having no legs for a while is a bit overwhelming, albeit all part of the 'big adventure', but when I went to my 'joint class' and the surgeon started telling the group of 30 or so (the hip people were in there with us) that we had to stop taking vitamins a week before surgery; anti-inflammatories, 10 days before; no dental work, even cleanings, for 6 months following.....then there were the catheters, infections, EKGs, blood tests, special soaps........I knew I wouldn't be able to keep track of all that stuff twice so even though I may have a tough first couple of weeks, I have no second thoughts about 'doing' both.

Whether it was my meloxicam (the anti-inflammatory that is like the one we give Max) or that my knee has been swollen so hard for so long that it's all stretched out, my pain has become pretty tolerable and I've been able to ski almost everyday (skiing is easier than walking) so I hope no one spent too much time feeling sorry for me thinking I was just sitting on the couch.**

I'm not sure I'd ever really stood and looked at myself in a full length mirror before (mostly because we didn't have a full length mirror until now) but I wanted to see what my knees looked like head on.  I noticed my right knee was a bit knocked and my right hip was a tad skewed.  Hmmmm.   I was pretty sure, even without a mirror to prove it back then, that I used to be straight up and down.  I dug out a photo of me a few years ago standing on a beach in a little bathing suit and you could see that, sure enough, I was straight.  So.  I put on the same little bathing suit, stood on the concrete floor instead of the beach and took a photo of my skewed hip and knee.  I ganged the before and after shots and sent them to the surgeon.  For my own peace of mind I need to send them.  I was going to email them but thought he might delete them as porn.  Before my great idea of wearing the same little bathing suit, for continuity and a straight forward comparison, I was thinking I could take an au natural shot, encompassing the hip and knee, then photoshop a four leaf clover or something over the crotch area.  Whatever...I don't think I'm going in for my fix a minute too soon.

I used to have a thigh muscle

*I started another blog.  A journal.  Just knee talk.  Boring unless your knees hurt a lot and even then it's not all the interesting.
**how does all that food get UNDER the cushions?