Producer Tasks

I just made some soft pretzels.

I'm producing my classmate Cory's film where there is a house fire in the last scene*.    So, when he asked me to make smoke bombs (producer** of a student film has a varied job description) I put it on my 'to do' list.  That was until I realized the smoke bombs*** were for an interior scene....in someone's house!  A house that someone, in good faith, lent him for his film.  I asked him if he had told/asked her if lighting smoke bombs in her house would be OK and yadayada, we're now using a safe, controllable fog machine.

Then, we're housing one of the actors in the apartment of a classmate who is shooting in Ukraine at the moment.  I went over to spiff up the place and make the bed with the sheets I'd just bought (after all, I am the producer) but of course, there was no key.   Why was I not surprised?

The words 'probably' and 'I assume so' are used far to often.

So that's what I'm up to these days as an MFA film student.

*That bit of info shouldn't ruin it for you since earlier in the film the woman puts a frozen pizza in the oven while it's still in the box
**I wonder if Judd Apatow ever had to make smoke bombs for his director
***my smoke bombs are a combination of postassium nitrate and sugar and I used them in my 'I Love Bagels' film (all exterior) where even with an inch of aluminum between the bombs and the ironing board I was using, the ironing board caught fire.

February 2014 PanicPost

That's it...I'm going to quit making posting promises.

Below is my bullet pointed February.

They say it's one of the worst winter ever in Athens, Ohio.

•Been working on films:

-I was flattered because my friend Geoff asked me to be Assistant Director on his second year film.  Flattered because he's 21 and in a fraternity.

-Vin was cast as a soldier.  A Ukrainian WWII collaborator.  They shot him (with a camera, not a gun) in the jeans and 2003 US Speedskating team jacket he was wearing when he showed up.  They said it wouldn't matter because it was a night scene.  I can't imagine that wouldn't look weird.  OR in film making lingo...I can't imagine that wouldn't bump for me.

-I've been working as a grip or gaffer now and then...in a world where when someone asks for a 'C47', you grab a clothespin and when someone asks for a stinger, you grab an extension cord.

-Iryna, the woman/classmate that had Vin play a Ukrainian WWII soldier in a US speedskating jacket, was having a really tough time on her shoot partly because it was way below zero, windy, they were shooting the whole thing outside and had a baby on set.  David, a classmate that is also a youth pastor asked his congregation to pray for her.

More about February:

•I'd heard good things about the documentary film 'Blue Vinyl' so I went to the library to check it out.  The student librarian searched and searched before telling me they didn't have it which surprised me because they seem to have every film ever made.  I looked at her computer screen then told her to try 'vinyl' instead of 'vinal' and there it was.

•Gossip.  You know the funeral home I told you about that has the inflated holiday scenes out front?  Moquin's?  Well, I was reading the paper the other day and saw that a Moquin was arrested for selling human bones. hmmm.

•I'm saving the worst for almost last.  Vin woke up the other day and screamed when he tried to bend his leg.  He didn't injure it either.  It just happened.  We went to the emergency room where the ER doc read the x-ray as showing: osteoarthritis, a bone spur and atherosclerosis.  We left wondering where he went to medical school and picked up a copy of the x-ray on our way out.  A few days and an MRI later, we think it's a partially torn quadriceps tendon which in layman's terms means something that will take a really long time to heal.  We'll know more on Monday. 

•It was 9 degrees with a 10 mile an hour wind the other day and we got this email from the school:

Forecasted temperatures are expected to be so severe that exposed skin may freeze, become frostbitten and people may become ill with hypothermia in minutes. Everyone is advised to stay indoors, limit exposure to the weather and make sure you are dressed appropriately for temperatures indoors and outdoors.
- Dress in layers in order to adjust to building temperatures as well as temperatures outdoors. 

- Exercise caution when traveling outside and make alternative arrangements to conduct business via teleconference or e-mail if possible.

- Give yourself extra time to arrive at your destination if walking on campus and travel slowly. Take small steps and use caution.

- Avoid extended time outdoors and if you must work outside, take breaks as necessary to avoid frostbite or hypothermia.

I read that and thought of the afternoon just before we left Vermont when, feeling pretty macho, I went up to the ski center to ski around dark when it was 21 below and there were 30 people doing the Tuesday night race.

Panic Blog

I have 53 minutes to keep from mangling my new year's resolution.  The one where I say to myself I'm going to update my blog at least once a month.  (crap...now it's down 50 minutes)  I hope at some point in my life time slows down a bit but from what I've heard, it doesn't.

Anyway.
We're back in school.  We knew we were back in Ohio when we were in the supermarket parking lot looking for a parking spot.  We slowly came around the corner on the wrong side of the 'road' the exact same time as someone slowly came around the corner on the right side of the 'road'.  Instead of them being annoyed, they gave us an apology wave and shrug.  We call it the Ohio wave.

As usual we weren't sure we were going back until past the last minute.  It depended on how much fun we were having and how good the skiing and weather was on the day we had to leave.  We were having fun but the snow-cover was thin and it was -19 so here we are.  Life it tough when you have several options and they're all great....and we are thankful for that. 

If you pop in at the end of the weekend I promise to have some really interesting stuff for you.  ;)

This is what we sadly left behind in Vermont which I realize may not look like much to some... 

but it's one of the only things that can make me look forward to getting outside when it's -19 degrees.

Makeover

Driving from Ohio to Vermont.  We don't go anywhere without the Christmas Cactus Vin's Mom gave us 20 years ago.

Funny story.

I'd be lying if I said said that the screw in my femur (the one that sticks out of the bone and into the muscle because it's too long) didn't hurt quite a bit most of the time.  So.  I got an appointment with my surgeon in Vermont for December 6 to talk about surgery to either 1) take out the hardware and let the bone fill in on it's own  2) take out the hardware and squirt in some cement-like stuff or 3) take out the hardware and put in smaller hardware.  Anyway.  Vin and I have been scheduling the whole Ohio semester around this December 6, 11:15 am appointment.  Our last class ended around 8 pm, December 4th.  We rode home and packed the trailer until around 2 am and left around 8 am on December 5th, drove for 13 hours, slept 4 1/2 hours then got up to drive 4 hours to the appointment.  Now, here's the funny part...my phone rings at 8 am in the car.  It's the clinic.  THEY HAVE A SCHEDULING CONFLICT AND NEED TO RESCHEDULE MY APPOINTMENT FOR TUESDAY DECEMBER 10.  I'm not sure what kind of a reaction they thought they'd get but when they heard sleep deprived, aching-backed Vince yelling in the background, they sincerely apologized so many times I started to feel guilty.

Anyway, they guilted me into changing my appointment to Tuesday, December 10...slightly inconvenient because right after that we had to drive down to Western Mass to show some of our short films at the Plainfield, MA library.  We were careful to warn folks to come with low expectations so I'm pretty sure no one was all that disappointed.  Then I got a haircut at 8 am the next day from my friend Chris (I have a funny story about Chris too but I'll save it for another time) at 'Glamourama' in Northampton followed by a 3 1/2 hour dental appointment (I know, long way to go for a dental appointment...)  Had to hustle back up to Vermont because I had to be at the hospital by 7:15 the next morning for surgery.  Kind of like a spa vacation.  I had a manipulation done on my right knee.  A manipulation is when the surgeon puts you under and does a quick bend/flex of the frozen knee to break up the scar tissue limiting it's range of motion.  Going in I was anxious because I knew that one of the downsides to the procedure was that the bone could break so first he went in and cut out a whole bunch of the scar tissue.  Seems a bit better now, but 'ya never know' (like we'd say in Minnesota). 

Something I learned today:
You can make a pizza crust without yeast, it's just not very good.

P.S. Being a glutton for punishment, I'm leaving the hardware in until Spring. 

In Athens.  Hughes Moquin Funeral Home entrance the day before Thanksgiving.

In Athens.  Hughes Moquin Funeral Home entrance the day after Thanksgiving.

Max Is Bummed

Are you sick of hearing my Max stories?

Max gets at least two good walks a day.  We'll even skip a bike ride to make sure he gets his walks.

We open the gate, clip on his leash and let him go wherever he wants.  He decides.  We're pretty sure he lays in the yard thinking about where he where he wants to go when we get home.  He's narrowed his routes down to about four favorites.  Like yesterday.  We're sure he was thinking "I'm hungry, I think I want a couple hamburgers," and then he takes a right at the end of the driveway.  He heads diagonally, through yards and alleys I didn't even know existed, to SONIC.   When we get there, I go inside for two hamburgers...just the meat...while he and Vince wait outside.  Vince sits on the planter and Max sits on the sidewalk next to the door.  Every time.  In exactly the same spot.

Today, he took a left out of the driveway.  "I haven't been to the dog park lately," and off we went.  He likes the dog park.  It's a ten minute walk from our house and even though we make him stay outside the fence, it's almost like he has dog friends. 

 Poor Max.

Mostly Pictures (of me)

We woke up because Max was panting.  It was the middle of the night but it didn't matter.  We loaded him in the car and drove to the Emergency Vet in Parkersburg, West Virginia.  You know what was wrong with him?  He was hot.  There is a name for people like us...alarmists.

Cinematography.  The class I somehow registered for by mistake?  We had to do a sequence re-creation of a film called 'Zodiac'.  Vince was the Director of Photography.  I was one of the actors. (there were two of us) I love acting...pretending to be someone I'm not.  I haven't seen 'Zodiac' and quite sure I don't want to.  I don't know what happened to my character but I have a pretty good idea. :(

Lights.  This is a lighting set up for ONE! shot.

Me acting.  Wondering why a car is pulling up behind me.

Matt acting.  Pretending to fix my tire.  He's the bad guy but I don't know it.

Me acting.  I'm suspicious.

Notice the lighting of these shots.  It's not accidental.  Vince had to figure it out.

This is a picture from a ride we did the other day.  The part of the ride when it was still light. 

Action.

Yesterday, eight weeks and a quarter tank of gas* into Fall semester, we got our Ohio residency.  Never in a million years would I have imagined I would someday be driving around with an Ohio drivers license.  It's not like Massachusetts where they let you look in a mirror then snap photos until you get one you like.  No, they shoot when you least expect it and that's it.  Vince looks great of course, but me?  I look like a hooker.

I'm working on several screenplays.  The one I decided to let rest for a while (maybe forever) is a comedy about a bridesmaid hitchhiking to a wedding then gets a ride with a serial (screw gun) killer.  What would Garrison Keilor say? 

The other day we watched 11 chase scenes in Film Analysis class.  Then later in Cinematography (a class I seemed to have taken by mistake) we shot the OU marching band practice on 16mm film and a really heavy camera.  Those marching band people are serious.  I was comfortably shooting them from behind, closely, when all of a sudden, the whole group pivoted, and started coming at me. (you had to be there) Next time I'll follow the tuba section and not the trombone section.

Me and the band

Vince is smarter.  He's on a container above the band.

*seriously...we've only used a quarter tank of gas since we've been here.

 Until next time.