This Might Be Cheating

So many textures.  Our pond in Vermont.

More textures and our sunny little house.

When I promised myself I'd publish at least a post a month I thought it would be easy...is this cheating?

Eighty-Four Cents

Knees.
I got the bill for my new knees.  Guess how much?  $95,000.  Of that I owed 84 cents.  The insurance company paid the rest (I thought they were going to pay the whole thing) and even with a discount it was still a really huge amount. 

Although I'm not jumping up and down screaming "I love my knees" (I've heard this does happen), I feel like I could travel in a third world country now when before the surgery, with all the spontaneous swelling and emergency room visits, that kind of traveling was a really scarey thought and an impossible reality.  Needing to be able to travel in a third world country may seem like an odd criteria for having knees replaced to some people but it's important to me.  Currently I have no plans for traveling to third world countries and maybe I never will but it's good to know that I feel like I could. 

Ohio.
I'm still suffering from Ohio Film MFA commitment anxiety.  Vince is too.  The pros are still the same.  So are the cons.  We talk about it every day a lot.  We signed the papers so 'Ohio' is expecting us.  Once the program starts and we're there, August 26 (that's so soon), we'll be totally present and committed but until then we're staying less anxious by feeling like we could still change our minds and our spots could be filled with any one of the hundred plus now disappointed applicants.  It's such an amazing opportunity/adventure.  Part of me worries about disappointing the program's decision makers (faculty).  Did I appear more competent on paper than I actually am?  I'm from Minnesota.  We worry about things like that.

Anxiety aside, we'll need a place to live when we're there.  Renting is really expensive and houses are really cheap.  If we rented for the three years, we could easily spend upwards of $50,000 (the cost of one new knee) so buying makes a ton of sense.  Not only is renting expensive, it's also unavailable.  Searching for rentals, I left no stone unturned and of the fifty or so rental houses* I found, only two were still available for this school year** and I wouldn't dare walk in to either of them.

House shopping.
Driving to Athens would have only taken about 3 hours longer than it took us to fly and I would have had my luggage when we got to the hotel.   The only flight (out of four) that was on time was the one on which we had first class seats and it left without us. 

Of the sixteen houses we looked at, Vince and I decided on one of them but the one I decided on was a different one than the one he decided on.  The one I liked probably needed a new roof.  The one he liked definitely needed a tree and some character. 

We had 'mine' inspected.  Vince was right about the roof.   We made an offer.  They countered and we didn't.  Later that day they changed their mind.  So, as of June 29, we'll own a house in Athens, Ohio.

Portlandia looking don't you think?  So so sweet.

 
I told Vince that having a house there pretty much commits us to the program.  He said, "Not necessarily."***


*we don't want to live in someone's basement apartment
**the others were already rented for the next one to two years
***actually, having a place to live is huge and was one of the things keeping us from looking forward to the program

Other.
I was among the 5,980 entrants that didn't win the NPR 3 Minute Fiction contest.

Aerial Shots and Realtors

Vin's Film.
'The One Hundred Mile Diet' is the film Vince is working on for his Digital Media class.  It's a 10 minute short in his favorite genre, horror.  If there is a film community in Craftsbury, we haven't found it.  Vince posted audition announcements at the local college.  7 pm on Wednesday.  Simpson Hall.  We planned to get there a few minutes early to get set up.  Vin had printed out several scripts, synopsis' and outlines for the group.  We parked and Vin realized he's forgotten his yellow notebook.  I 'ran' to the Hall to organize the auditionees while Vin sped back to the house to get the notebook.  Breathless, he burst into the hall, notebook in hand, where I was the only person.  We waited 15 minutes, admitted defeat and left.  Skunked.  Later we found out there had been a water dowsing workshop on campus at the same time.  Standing room only.

Rewriting.  Swapping out the three kids for the Grandmother within the confines of the newly constructed set-wall.

Vince convinced himself (and tried to convince me) that he needed aerial shots.

  See the camera?  That thing flies.

Of course Vince would write a script that had to be shot at night.

So, Vince had this great script and no actors.  He needed two or three kids and three adults.  He somehow managed to round up the three adults.  I volunteered myself at the last minute to take the place of the three kids by playing a cranky, senile Grandmother.  (Not sure how that makes me feel even though it was my idea)  With peppermint/tea tree Uncle Roy Foot Powder in my hair, my cane, temporary limp and new knees, I was pretty convincing. 

I took the place of three children in Vince's film.

More School.
Did I tell you about the Film MFA Program in Ohio?  The one we got in to and had to accept or reject by April 24? 

Writing.
So far my NPR 'Three Minute Fiction' piece hasn't made it to the NPR website as one of the favorites.  When the judges are done reading the 6,000 submissions in a few weeks, they'll choose a winner so I still have a chance.  Vince thinks I'll win, isn't that sweet?

Eating.
Went to Russell and Janet's for supper tonight.  Janet is 89 and Russell is 86.  We talked about a lot of different things.  Like, Janet needing a new bike, one that's easier for her to lift to the bike rack on the back of the car than the one she has now.

House.
When I asked the realtor in Athens, Ohio how old the roof on a particular house was she said, "probably not real old".
When I asked her about the age of the furnace she said, "not real old and not real new".
When I asked her about what utilities bills ran a month she said, "probably not too much".
Now there is someone I could really trust.

Thinking Out Loud

Downtown Athens, Ohio

Part of the 18 mile bike path that goes through the University

Athens countryside

It's times like this when it would be nice to have a burning passion.  Too bad you can't just pick a passion...that it has to come to you.

Possible Passion, Film MFA. 
Three programs interested us enough to spend millions of hours filling out applications.  We spent November filling out Florida State,  January, filling out Ohio University and February, filling out City College of New York.  All of these programs are production oriented in a place that we wouldn't mind living and didn't require a GRE (my requirement).  Even with our ages on the applications, we made it through to the interview stage at Florida* and Ohio. We're thinking that City College may have lost our applications.  Flying, hotel, interview, new place, new people....the interview process in itself was an adventure.

Pretty Big News.  
Vince and I were just offered 2 of the 10 spots (126 applied) in the Ohio University MFA Film Program.  Until that phone call, my knees were the only things I really had to think about and now we have to decide, by April 24, if we want to live in Athens, Ohio for three years.   April 24th isn't all that far away and to add to the DD (decision difficulty), there are exactly the same number of pros as cons.
 
Top Eight Pros:
•It was hard to get in.
•The countryside surrounding Athens is our kind of countryside (tiny rolling country roads with little traffic, TONS of mountain bike and hiking trails, a 18 mile paved bike path, easy to get out of town into the country).
•The town is funky (coffee shops, old timey food co-op, vegetarian restaurants, brew pub).
•The faculty seems to love their jobs and to like us.
•The program is fairly renowned.
•It's a new environment.
•It would give us a structure.  Without the structure of being in school we doubt we would get around to producing a noteworthy film.  One that people could watch without us being there to explain it. :) I don't care about winning an Oscar but Vince wants to.
•It would be fun** and provide a real sense of accomplishment.

Top Eight Cons:
•It's not Paris, Portland, Madison, Bozeman or Amsterdam.
•It's three years and we're 55.  Do we want to spend what's left of our youth in school? (i.e. tied down)
•There is an off chance we would make a noteworthy film without being in school.
•It starts August 26th and we have to put the Plainfield property on the market, open up Cape Cod, close down Vermont, make sure my knees work etc.
•Max is 11.  Do we want to introduce him to another new environment? 
•I think the town is pretty run down (student rentals, depressed) Vince doesn't see it as run down.  Admittedly, when we were there, it was a pretty dreary day.
•Do we want to miss skiing in Craftsbury those winters?
•We kind of like what we're doing now.  (what are we doing now?)

We're not trying to chose between a couple different schools but between doing it and not doing it.  So I guess the big question is, "Do we want to do it more than anything?" because that would have to be the case.  

*Florida decided for us. (we're sure it was because of our age) but we'd already decided we didn't want to live in Tallahassee partly because the healthfood store didn't list all of the ingredients in the hot table foods and the one funky restaurant in town didn't have a single vegetarian entree'.  

**Almost nothing could have been more fun for us than having a copy of 'You're Not Cindy' (our first 'real' film) in the car with us at all times and showing it wherever/whenever.

I Saved The Staples

When Vince and I went to Ohio for our film MFA interview Max was the bookstore dog at the Galaxy Bookshop in Hardwick

My staples are out which is a huge mental move forward for me.  The only way it could have been worse is if I'd had more knees.  In twenty years when I have to do this again :(, I want to be put asleep.

I'm thinking that the toughest component of my healing process, even with all the physical discomfort, will be the patience part of it.  I've spent most of the last couple days fretting, that after all my stretching, my flexion was getting worse and when we measured it with hand-held calipers rather than my head-held calipers, it had actually gotten better.*  Not as much better as I (the expert and knee owner) thought it should be, but better which is way better than worse. (that's a lot of 'betters'). 

I will admit that I am excited to 'get this show on the road', but just the same I am being very careful and thoughtful with my physical therapy.  Like today. My physical therapist tried to keep a non-judgmental look on her face as I described my plan for using the rowing machine as therapy.  I told her the hardest part about it is that it sits so close to the floor so I was thinking I could have Vin hang a trapeze contraption from the ceiling that I could use to lower myself on the the machine.  All she said was, "why don't we wait until next week," and I was OK with that.

It took me most of the day, but Sunday I figured how to link my blogs together with html code.  I am so much smarter than I thought I was.  It's fun seeing (stats page) that people actually use the new feature to go from one blog to the other like it's a real thing that a person who does that kind of thing did, and not me.

MY DAD

It looked like flying from Mesa, Arizona to Sioux Falls, South Dakota on April 18 was going to be cheap, so one weekday afternoon when all the Minnesota snowbirds were over at Janis J's for no special reason, Dad had her get him a ticket.  She has a printer so she could print it out while he was there too which made it even more of a great idea.  (when something seems to good to be true, it usually is)

Good Life.  Sustainable living.

Water aerobics on St Patrick's Day at Good Life.

A few days later he got to thinking that hanging around 'Good Life' resort for two weeks by himself (since people are starting to leave now), when it might even be warmer in Minnesota, may not have been worth saving the fifty dollars and leaving sooner would be worth any amount of money.  I'd bought my brother Dale a ticket to Mesa last Christmas time.  He didn't go so I had a voucher sitting in a file with all of my other unused airline vouchers.

Aunt Marlene had Janis email Dad, me and her a copy of Dad's itinerary so we would all be on the 'front' page.  I called the airline (Allegiant) but since Janis J. had made the reservation, she would have to make the changes (that's what she gets for being nice).  She gave me a list of the several passwords she may have used so I could get into her account.  One worked and up came a long manifest of tickets purchased and printed that afternoon at her house.

I made Dad's new reservation but I couldn't use the voucher because my step-sister Janet had put Dale's Christmas time ticket on her credit card so the voucher was in her name.  To use it Janet would have had to call Allegiant, with an average wait time 28 minutes, and OK the voucher transfer, then Dad would have had to call Allegiant, with an average wait time 28 minutes, and make the reservation over the phone.  TOO MANY COOKS.  We used a credit card so Dad's cheap ticket ended up being 91 dollars more than the one Janis got for him and I still have a voucher in Janet's name.

My dad just got his girlfriend her birthday present.  I can tell you what it was because, even though her birthday isn't for a few weeks, he couldn't wait to give it to her.  A card shuffler.



*In case you are interested......I have another blog.  I call it my knee blog.  It's like a journal and is only about my knees.  I update it almost everyday whether something is newsworthy or not.  I started it because, at the beginning of this whole process, I really wanted to see how my progress, pain and decision making compared with others and I couldn't find a site that had the information I wanted.  It's at the top right of 'Kathy's Big Adventure' under MY BLOG LIST. Anyway....go ahead, stalk me.

Being Out Of Joint

If everyone says I'm doing so well, how come I feel so miserable?

Pathetic looking.

I can't believe this is me.  Looks like a football.

I'm not nauseous anymore but I still have a hard time eating enough.  I made a chart and started counting calories.  That way if I need another 200 calories at the end of the day, I just grab a handful of nuts or eat a spoonful of wheatgerm.*  I've managed to turn eating into work. 

I can walk with crutches.  In fact I can walk with one crutch.  Physical therapy came to the house.  She said I was doing great (of course).  She comes again tomorrow.  I'm going to ask her if she hears my new knee clicking too.  I can lift my left leg off the ground but not the right one because the muscle that used to be there disappeared completely which makes me even more amazed and thankful I was able to limp through the ski season.

The visiting nurse people sent someone too.  He seemed present and experienced albeit a bit sloppy.  Tell me if you think this is sloppy.  He put on some rubber gloves, rooted around in three dirty bags and and then took the dressing off my knee.  The dressing that no one is supposed to touch because there is such an incredibly high risk of infection.  I told him I was surprised he put on the gloves and then rooted around in the dirty bags and he said that the gloves were to protect him not me.  (maybe that's right?)  Anyway, once he was all protected (from the insides of his bags?) he started putting piles of gauze along the wound (he was out of the real dressing) and had me hold them, with my dirty hands, while he taped them with little pieces of tape...conserving because he didn't have more tape either.  Then there is this sticker.  "I'm going to leave you this, make sure you call if you need anything at all."  A known quantity, he's coming again tomorrow.

One of the things that made me think the visiting nurse was sloppy.

Today and yesterday I moved a chair outside (no small feat) so I could sit and read.  I wasn't going to let a sunny, 75 degree Northern Vermont day in March go by without me.  I didn't actually read that much but just sitting was nice.  Max joined me.  He didn't read either.  It was hot so I pulled my sweat pants down around my ankles (but not all the way off since getting them back on would be even harder than getting the chair outside) to bring my ace-bandaged legs one layer closer to fresh air.

Tomorrow Vince is going to pick up a rocking chair for me...so there's that.  Then there's the sitting outside reading in the sun.  Sounds like a post from someone in a nursing home.

NYC Trip

Sarah eating oatmeal at Bread and Butter

Only Linda would wear a faux fur skirt.

My Tyler, Minnesota High School girlfriends** (class of 74) met me in NYC a few weekends ago.  It could have been really cold but it wasn't.  My knee could have kept me in the hotel room but it didn't.  And 'Jersey Boys' may not have been as good as everyone said but it was even better.

When we all get together it really doesn't matter where we are or what we do, which is good because even though my knee ended up OK, it may not have and I know they wouldn't have minded spending the weekend in the hotel room which was good but not as good as it looked online.

So.  Even though it didn't matter what we did, we were glad we got to see Mamma Mia (closure to our Greece trip), Jersey Boys, the High Line, and a bunch of other things.

I probably set the world record for overland crutch travel from 27th to Columbus Circle/Central Park and back.

*theoretically that is...right now I don't have any nuts or wheat germ.

**now from Idaho and Oregon (i.e. long flight)

Day Zer000

I was able to ski for an hour with Vince before we went to the hospital.  It was so fun, fast and mostly painless really.  It's pretty much the end of the season so my timing, as it happened, was really good.  The anxiety of the drive to the hospital wasn't what I expected.  I thought Vin would have to knock me out but he didn't.

The OR nurse was an ignorant dink.  So many insinuating questions that weren't necessary.  She argued with me when I told her I couldn't have a glucose IV suggesting that me thinking I needed a saline IV was an affectation that was in my head.  It was a conversation I didn't need right then.  I finally told her that I didn't care if she believed me or not and she got much nicer but not until I started crying.  I just couldn't hold back the tears when I was giving her my phone number.

Anyway, went into the OR thinking I was getting partial knee replacements and came out with total knee replacements.  Guess I wasn't all that surprised.  The surgeon said they were both so bad that after scoping them the decision was a no brainer.  Said he really didn't like doing totals on someone 'so young'. At least I'm in the young category of some group.

Vin was there all day or said he was.

I don't remember a whole lot about recovery except I felt like crap and thought the nursing staff I had, must have graduated at the bottom of their classes.  I stood, vomited and took a few steps with my walker.  Got a bunch of calls and emails.  I couldn't eat.  The discomfort from the surgery/anesthesia seemed a lot worse than the discomfort from my knees.  Cathaters, commodes, hospital gowns that open in the back are all pretty undignified.  Normal post-op from what I hear.

My legs are wrapped and I never want to see my incisions.